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Adoption is a Last Resort
November 12, 2007 | Filed under: Adoption
I love the quotes my wife pulled from the book There Is No Me Without You, especially this one:
"Adoption is a last resort," said Haddush Haleform, head of the Children's Commission under Ethiopia's Ministry of Labor, "I am deeply respectful of the families who care for our children," he said. "But I am so very interested in any help that can be given to us to keep the children's first parents alive. Adoption is good but children, naturally, would prefer not to see their parents die." (emphasis mine)
It's a much needed kick in the teeth. To anyone feeling like a hero because they adopted one child, there are millions more who need help and you've done nothing to stem the tide of orphaned children (don't misread me: adoption is a good thing, but it does not fix the problem). To anyone feeling like they can't adopt, you can do any number of things to ensure that children don't need to be adopted.
As Ethiopia becomes more and more important to our family, this underlines the importance for me of supporting families in Ethiopia. We will adopt and help the one in a million child, but we should also help the millions of others who won't be adopted and we should also work so that adoption isn't necessary in the first place. That's the kind of justice that should be happening. (And as I understand it, some of our country fees go to do just this kind of work.)
Making Progress Again
November 11, 2007 | Filed under: Adoption
Ironically enough, our adoption process has slowed down a bit the past couple weeks while we've also been intently blogging about adoption. We finished our home study and received the massive stack of paperwork for our dossier and that's pretty much when things slowed down. It didn't help that the latest adoption bill came at the same time, and paired with the check that must be sent in with the dossier, it's almost half the total bill.
Yeah, ouch.
So you can see why things have slowed down. We're not eager to pay those bills.
But in the last few days we've started moving again. Well, Abby has us moving and I'm trying not to slow us down. She has a running check list of what we need to do and last night we filled out paperwork to request extra copies of our birth certificates (yes, we know how to party on a Saturday night).
Among the paperwork we still need is a letter from the chief of police saying we're not criminals, a letter from the bank saying we have money, a letter from our doctor saying we won't die, and letters from both our employers saying we have jobs (and yes, being self-employed I'm supposed to write my own letter). The only thing we don't need is a letter from our great-aunt Ruth. Though we might need a letter from you, so don't be surprised if we ask.
Juno: Can You Do a Funny Movie About Adoption?
November 10, 2007 | Filed under: Adoption
From Minnesota--the adoption state--comes stripper-turned-screenwriter Diablo Cody and her debut movie, Juno, about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and decides to place her child for adoption (notice a theme?). It's got Rainn Wilson, Michael Cera and some other folks (somebody named Jennifer Garner?), and the trailer is funny.
Which is often a sign of sure disappointment with the movie itself, so relish these great lines from the trailer in case the movie sucks:
Juno (pregnant teen): "If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks, probably like a sea monkey right now, and I should let it get a little cuter. "Vanessa (potential adoptive mother): "Your parents are probably wondering where you are."
Juno: "Nah... I mean I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?"
But personally, I've got high hopes. While the offensive factor is pretty high, adoption humor is a vast untapped reserve of comedy. And as Joshua Cody pointed out yesterday, it's nice to see adoption modeled as an alternative to abortion.
Encyclopedia of Place
November 10, 2007 | Filed under: Behold, the Internet
I like information to be easy to find and freely available. I like knowing things. When I go to a park, I like to know who created the sculpture and what it's called. I like to know who the statue is of and why they get a statue. I like to know the history of a location and why it's important.
Unfortunately, most of that kind of information is hard to find. And it bugs me.
So I have this crazy idea of creating a sort of encyclopedia of place.
Continue reading "Encyclopedia of Place"Adoption Interviews: Joshua Cody
November 9, 2007 | Filed under: Adoption
This is the first in a series of interviews with people who have experienced adoption. I hope to offer multiple perspectives on adoption since nobody wants to listen to me ramble about adoption all month.
Joshua Cody is 20 years old and a student at the University of Georgia. He's our intern at the Center for Church Communication, specifically making my life easier at Church Marketing Sucks. He's also adopted. A lawyer in a black Lincoln delivered Joshua to his parents in a parking lot when he was only three days old. He's seen the video and noted that his parents looked a lot happier than he did. As you'll see, he's pretty comfortable with his adoption--to the point of making jokes.
1. When did you first realize you were adopted? What kind of impact did that have on you?
As soon as I was old enough to know that babies didn't come from storks, I knew that I was adopted. My parents concentrated on using proper language to convey the idea, telling me that my real mommy and daddy couldn't take care of me.
They would always tell me that I was luckier than all the other kids because they picked me, and all the other parents didn't get to pick. I grew up feeling really special about the whole thing.
2. Do you know what motivated your parents to adopt?
My parents simply couldn't have children a la natural. As a child, this came over as "mommy's pipes are broken."
Continue reading "Adoption Interviews: Joshua Cody"The Transracial Challenge of Adoption
November 8, 2007 | Filed under: Adoption
I think one of the biggest challenges for our adoption is the transracial element. We're adopting a kid from Ethiopia--they're going to be black. We're very, very white. That can pose a lot of problems.
In our pre-adoption classes they had us do an exercise where we put a colored bead in a cup to match the race of each person they read off--your doctor, your boss, your coworkers, your neighbors, your favorite author, your favorite actor, your favorite musician, your vet, your barber, your lawyer, your accountant, your fill in the blank. At the end of it I had a lot of white beads in my cup. So did everybody else (including the black guy), which is partially because Minnesota is predominantly white. But it helps to see it so vividly.
As a child grows up they need to see people who look like them so they don't feel like a complete outcast. And that means intentionally trying to be more diverse for the sake of our child. We've already made some good steps in the right direction--living in a diverse (for Minnesota) neighborhood, owning a decent mix of multi-cultural books, etc.--but we've got a long way to go.
In general, I think race is going to be a tough issue.
Continue reading "The Transracial Challenge of Adoption"Artsy Twin Cities Photo Group on Flickr
November 8, 2007 | Filed under: Art
I gave in and started the Artsy Twin Cities photo group on Flickr today, a group for public art in the St. Paul-Minneapolis area. I say 'gave in' because I've been thinking about doing it for a while and finally decided to just do it today. I've been surprised that nobody had started a group like this before (there's a group graffiti and groups for local art museums, but nothing for art across the Twin Cities, and specifically public art).
There's just so much great public art in the Twin Cities and it's so easy to completely ignore it. It's also not always easy to find out what each piece is called and who the artist is. Sometimes you can find out fairly easily online, but not always. I'm hopeful that the group will help people stop and enjoy art.
Add this to my Como Park group and I've got a little local theme going. We'll see how long I last before launching my Twin Cities Architecture group (OK, I lasted about five hours. But I blame the St. Paul Real Estate blog.)
Steven Curtis Chapman's Daughter Annoys Him Into Adopting
November 7, 2007 | Filed under: Adoption
I love the story of Shaohannah's Hope, a nonprofit adoption resource organization founded by Steven Curtis Chapman. It all started in 1997 when the Chapman's 11-year-old daughter, Emily, went on a missions trip to Haiti. She connected with the children immediately and when the trip ended she didn't want to go.
"Leave me here," she said. "I want to stay."
She brought her passion for children home and started trying to convince her parents to adopt. She bought books on adoption and pestered her parents with facts and notes urging them to adopt and laying on the guilt. Her campaign was downright annoying.
Two years later her parents finally relented and started the adoption process. In 2000 they adopted Shaohannah and have since adopted two more girls from China and founded Shaohannah's Hope to provide support and resources to those adopting. (I liked the story so much I already blogged about it once for the Foursquare NextGen Summit '07).
Writing Bad Copy
November 7, 2007 | Filed under: Writing
While writing ad copy for a missions organization tonight I almost wrote the phrase "missionary position" in an entirely non-sexual context and for a moment didn't realize how bad that would have been.
Then I realized it and wondered if I could get away with intentionally using the phrase "missionary position."
Then I wondered if any missions organization would ever intentionally use the phrase "missionary position" and pull it off.
Lexi Says Ethiopia
November 6, 2007 | Filed under: Adoption
Last week we filmed Lexi saying Ethiopia while we tried to talk to her about adoption (and you can see how fruitful that discussion was). I was going to edit the video down, but the uncut video just cracks me up. As did the other two videos from that morning when Lexi asked to watch Veggie Tales and we asked Lexi what she wanted to do today while we were still in bed.
Talking to our Daughter about Adoption from kevinhendricks on Vimeo.
