July 18, 2006
The Greatest Two Words I've Ever Heard
Let me tell you the two greatest words I've ever heard: Solid Food. The Lexi Baby started eating stuff called "solid food" about 2 weeks ago. And she's messy. It gets on her face and her hands and her clothes. So, I have to pitch in a clean her up. And oh boy, do those solid foods taste good. From what I hear, this "solid food" thing is only going to get better and better. Now I just have to convince Speak that he really doesn't want to get in on this deal.
Posted by Mazie at 1:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 25, 2006
Kill the Wabbit
Mazie killed a rabbit today.
We haven't seen rabbits in the yard since she almost got one a few weeks ago, and today two of the fury little critters ventured into the yard and Mazie got the drop on them. Cornered, one of them bolted around Mazie and I and made it out through the chain-link fence. The other one wasn't so lucky and Mazie chomped down on its back.
I always wanted to play with the bunnies in the backyard. They never really wanted to play with me, but we at least tolerated each other. Then Mazie came along.
Kevin and Abby weren't so keen on Mazie getting second supper, so they pried her off the wounded little rabbit, which at this point was paralyzed from the middle down and screeching. They forced Mazie and I back inside and the little rabbit tried to follow its partner through the chain-link, but to no avail.
When Kevin went to put the rabbit out of its misery it was already dead.
So no rabbit supper tonight, but that's OK. I prefer larger meals (my food is made from bison), and I'm not sure I could eat a potential playmate anyway.
Though now that I've seen what Mazie can do, I'm starting to watch my back.
Posted by Speak at 10:28 PM | TrackBack
January 24, 2006
Look It's My First Survey
Les Savy Four
FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:
-- Modeling
-- Guard dog
-- Squirrel Hunter
-- Lap Warmer
FOUR MOVIES I'D WATCH ON REPEAT:
-- March of the Penguins
-- March of the Penguins
-- March of the Penguins
-- March of the Penguins
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE:
-- That one show where the dog survives the airplane crash and is on a desert island with all those people
-- The show where Timmy is always falling down a well or something and his dog rescues him
-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer – especially the episodes where Oz is a werewolf
-- Simpsons
FOUR CAREERS THAT APPEAL TO ME:
-- Food Critic
-- Toy Tester
-- Shepherd
-- Hunter
FOUR JOBS (FILLED BY PEOPLE I KNOW) AT WHICH I WOULD BE TERRIBLE:
-- The one that requires thumbs
-- The one that requires an attention span
-- Nanny
-- Teaching philosophy
FOUR VACATION LOCALES I'D LIKE TO HIT:
-- the woods
-- the mountains
-- the beach
-- petsmart
FOUR FOODS I LUST AFTER:
-- the stuff on abby’s plate
-- the stuff on kevin’s plate
-- the stuff in speak’s bowl
-- everything in the refrigerator
FOUR CHANGES I'D MAKE TO THE HOUSE:
-- add my own room
-- make speak live in the garage
-- get a new bed
-- add an indoor dog bathroom
FOUR BEERS I LIKE:
-- I’m only 1. I don’t think I’m allowed to have this yet.
TAG:
-- You're it.
-- You're it.
-- You’re it.
-- And you.
Posted by Mazie at 6:12 PM | TrackBack
August 9, 2005
Disrespect for Small Dogs
"I can't respect a dog unless it can hurt you."
-Chuck Klosterman, author of Killing Yourself to Live, while being interviewed on 89.3 FM The Current.
Well bring it on, Chuck.
Posted by Speak at 4:10 PM | TrackBack
April 8, 2005
By the way, I found them
Just to update you...I found Abby and Kevin. They showed up really early Monday morning complaing about being tired from an airplane ride and talking about a place called L.A. It seems that they don't like dogs in L.A. (or at least at Brad's house) so they left me home for my own good. Well, that's the story they gave me anyway.....
April 1, 2005
Um...I'm Still Here
On Wednesday, Abby stayed home from work, which was fun. Then she and Kevin started to pack their bags. It was great, I didn't know we were going anywhere but I love car rides. So they packed up all their stuff and brought their bags downstairs. I noticed that they hadn't packed any of my stuff yet. I reminded them by running in and out of my crate, just to let them know that I was ready to go, but they still didn't pack my stuff. Then and car pulled up to the house and they loaded up all their bags. I ran into my crate, they gave me a treat and said, "See you later." It's Friday now, and I still don't have any idea what "later" means. There is a lady named something or other staying at the house with me, and she's pretty nice. But if you see Kevin and Abby, can you let them know that I am still here? and I would like to know what "later" means....
Thanks.
March 27, 2005
I'm Learning How to Type
jkbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbfffffffffffffffffcvvvjhnnnnnnnnvvvvvvvvvvvvvgjbuhnun
mb vv,mv iuuuvfffifvvrfgn nm ijjmhnjhnhnhjyrdrtfdxcxujjkcji
(how am I doing so far?)
Posted by Speak at 9:16 PM | Comments (1)
January 29, 2005
An Evening in my Crate
So, last night my peeps went over to Kaya and Hobie's house to chill for a while. It was pretty fun. They played Killer Bunnies for over 5 hours, then played with Hobie and Kaya for a while. Good times.
You know what I was doing during this time? Sitting in my crate for 8 DAMN HOURS!
I'm the one who offered Hobie a hide out when the vet was threatening his manhood. I'm the one who thinks that Kaya is a total hottie. And what do I get for being a true friend? I get crated and left in the front hall. That's what I get.
They'll drive me twelve hours to hang with the chihuahua who wants to eat people, but they won't drive me 40 minutes to see my bud and my girl because of a little "dog aggression." Whatever. I'm tough, Hobie's tough. We'd work it out.
Posted by Speak at 3:17 PM | Comments (2)
October 10, 2004
Headline Reads: Fearless Pup Saves Household from Earwig of Doom
At approximately 2:46 p.m. an earwig snuck into the home of Kevin and Abby Hendricks. Abby was not home at the time of the break-in, but Kevin was upstairs working and unaware of the situation. Speak (the family's fearless and brave pup) was just waking up from a nap on the porch when he heard the commotion in the living room. He quickly sprang into action, running to the living room to investigate. Expecting to see a member of the recent ladybug gang, he was taken aback when he saw the earwig of doom. He decided to get a closer look at the enemy.
Realising that it indeed was an earwig of doom he formatted a plan. Phase one of the plan was simple, yet highly irritating to the enemy - poke at him.
Phase two was slightly more complex - sniff him, without getting pinched in the nose.
Phase three - stare at the enemy.
Phase four - force the enemy under The Thing That Eats Dog Toys.
We caught up with Speak for a quick interview later that evening.
R: Speak, that was a brave thing you did.
S: He was heading for my toy basket - I did what needed to be done.
R: Were you ever afraid?
S: Look at me. I wear a studded collar. Do I look like someone who would be afraid?
R: How come you didn't have Kevin come take care of the problem?
S: They hired me to be a full time guard dog. It is my duty to protect them from the Ladybug Gang, Earwigs of Doom, Leaves, the neighbors pinwheels, the SimonDelivers man, and furniture that is moved from it's proper place.
R: That's a lot of responsibility. You must get paid pretty well.
S: I earn about a slice of cheese a week. It's a pretty average salary. If they wanted to upgrade to protection against UPS, FedEx, and Postal Workers, it would be an addtional hotdog per week
R: Well, thank you for your time. I'll let you get back to work.
S: Thanks, anything for my fans.
Posted by Speak at 5:15 PM | Comments (5)
May 5, 2004
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear me
Happy Birthday to me
I got a collar. And I got to sit in my kennel for most of the day.
Posted by Speak at 10:40 PM | Comments (1)
May 3, 2004
The Big 1
On Wednesday, I'll be a year old. I'm hoping for a new collar for my birthday, and maybe a steak dinner. But I don't think that I am getting either. Kevin said not to push my luck. I do, however, get to go to the groomers and get a real haircut (like this one) so I'll be lookin' pretty good when the big day comes.
Posted by Speak at 4:07 PM | Comments (1)
October 18, 2003
Army of One
My house is being invaded so I have decided I need to step up and protect the place. I have spent the day patrolling the front porch, the back deck and the living room for ladybugs. There are tons of them in here and I am starting to think I might need some back up for this situation. I can only eat so many.
October 17, 2003
Dirty monkey?
Kevin just called me a dirty monkey. I'm not sure what to make of this, though at the time I was chewing on five socks and a monkey slipper from the bedroom.