May 21, 2006

A Tale of Two Dogs

I made another greenback-generating appearance in the Target ad this week. No matter what the pink sweater vest says about me, I'm still a productive member of society.

Mazie, on the other hand, found half a squirrel to chew the other day. Nobody's quite sure what happened to the other half of the squirrel, but everybody's pretty certain Mazie didn't do it. She eats fast, but not that fast. And that would make her a what?

A scavenger.

She also spent yesterday trying to catch two big, fat pigeons. Now I've heard pigeon can be a delicacy, but c'mon. You actually have to catch them. Finding previously killed lunch doesn't count.

So go ahead, laugh at my cross-dressing, money-making fame. But while I'm sitting on a luxurious pillow and lapping bottled water Mazie is sitting in the dirt chewing on leftover squirrel intestines. Now who do you want sitting in your lap?

Posted by Speak at 8:59 AM | TrackBack

May 1, 2006

Speak the Dog Modeling Fairy

So Speak is pretty proud of himself for being paid to dress up like a girl. I'm not sure I get it. I tried the whole modeling thing. They were really nice to me and gave me lots of tasty food, but I don't think that's for me. I'd rather chase animals in the back yard.

OK, yesterday, there was this big fat rabbit sitting by the garage and I ran out to get him and he didn't see me coming so he didn't run until it was too late and I was on top of him before he could escape and I think I scared him really bad and I might have got a bit of fur but I don't remember because it happened so fast.

Mmm... rabbit.

So anyway, Speak is a model.

Yeah, but what he didn't tell you is last year he got to model some Halloween costumes. Like this fairy costume. But he also got to be a tiger. All summer I had to hear about how he got to be a tiger. Then when the costumes came out he didn't tell anybody else.

You know why? Because he looked like a fairy in that tiger costume. I think the "tiger" costume was more like a tiger skin coat.

Very lady-like yet again, Speak.

This year he went back to do more Halloween costume modeling and he came back bragging that he got to be a football player. And a pumpkin (he wasn't as thrilled with that one). I can't wait to see what kind of a powderpuff football player he gets to be.

And maybe it's just me, but I think I look a lot more lady-like in the fairy costume than Speak did. Of course it's hard to chase rabbits in all that get up, so it was just for Halloween.

Posted by Mazie at 10:28 AM | TrackBack

Not to Shabby: Speak Models Simply Shabby Chic

That's right, I'm back. We've had a bit of a drought since my last appearance, but the green is flowing again.

So cute, so lady-like...

and so much richer than you.

Posted by Speak at 9:44 AM | TrackBack

March 9, 2006

Modeling Again

Mazie and I went and got our headshots taken for another modeling company last Saturday. I think it went pretty well. They took five pictures of me, a couple sitting, a couple standing, one lying down, I was looking pretty good. Then it was Mazie's turn. They took one picture of her. Probably because she refused to hold still.

Yesterday the photographer called our house and, surprise, surprise, Target wants me to come in tomorrow for a photo shoot.

Posted by Speak at 8:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 12, 2005

The Dog Modeling Career that Wasn't

You see that dog sitting in the bag on the cover of the Target ad? I can do that. Well, maybe not now cuz the doggie bag kind of shrunk, but I did it once before. Speak thinks he's the only dog that gets to do modeling. But I did it before I even knew how to sit.

I was a good dog model. I'd lick the photographer and ignore the cooing model. I got to wander the photo studio looking for tasty crumbs and everybody thought I was adorable. I even managed to hold it until we got outside (OK, I didn't make it to the grass, but nobody in the alley seemed to mind).

Modeling sure was fun. I don't know why they didn't use my picture. The model probably blinked. I see they replaced her, too.

Posted by Mazie at 10:31 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 5, 2005

Pretty in Pink

Speak appeared in the Target ad again this weekend. You may remember that he showed up a few weeks back and felt the need to defend his manhood. I guess he'll need to do that again.

But I have to tell you, a tough collar doesn't make up for the fact that his little sister beats up on him. But don't tell him I told you.

To tell you the truth, I'm a bit jealous. Why does Speak get to wear all the fancy, girly outfits? I think I deserve a bit of girlish pampering... oh gotta go, squirrel!

Posted by Mazie at 12:04 PM | TrackBack

June 19, 2005

Speak's Target Ad Debut

So what are you looking at? You got a problem with pink? For all the green that came with it, I'm more than happy to wear pink.

You've seen my collar. I can hold my own.

Posted by Speak at 12:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 19, 2005

Darth Doggie: The Darth Vader Pet Costume

This could have been me. I'd have you all trembling before my power. I'd rule the galaxy. I could banter with M&Ms and the Burger King King. My rivals would flee before me, praying I don't deal more harshly with them.

A few weeks back I did some modeling (we don't need to get into the details of what) and they had a few of these Star Wars pet costumes. OK, so I probably wouldn't have been Darth Vader, but Yoda was a real possibility. Some kind of licensing issues closed the door. I think they were just afraid of seeing my true Jedi powers.

They said something about an Ewok costume being perfect, but I don't get it. On the plus side, I didn't have to dress up as Princess Leia. Or the other Princess Leia (shudder). (link via Dave)

Posted by Speak at 12:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 19, 2005

And I Do My Little Turn On The Cat Walk

I'm offically a model. Sunday, they called Abby and asked if I could come in for an audition on Monday. Monday night, they called her and said I had the job. Today, I went to the studio to model halloween costumes for Target. Man it was a lot of work. I was so tired by the last roll of film that I was falling asleep in front of the camera. I had to wear two different costumes. The first costume was a princess costume. I am so mad about that one. Abby tried to explain to them that I am a boy dog, but they said it didn't matter and if I wanted to get paid, I had to wear the girly cape and hat. Whatever. The second costume was a tiger costume. I liked that one.

So when Target starts setting up all their Halloween stuff, look for the costumes. My picture will be on the packaging of the purple princess and the tiger.

And now I am going to take a well earned nap.

Posted by Speak at 1:01 PM | Comments (1)

October 31, 2004

America's Next Top Model

Move over ladies, Sunday I'll be struttin' my stuff at a modeling audition. This audition is for print ads, but once they see my gourgeous eyes, my sexy bod and my way-to-cute tail, I think I'll make the jump to television ads pretty quick.

Wish me luck.

Posted by Speak at 5:12 PM | Comments (5)