Spacebar: May 2006 Archives

May 25, 2006

Kill the Wabbit

(Filed under: Random)

Mazie killed a rabbit today.

We haven't seen rabbits in the yard since she almost got one a few weeks ago, and today two of the fury little critters ventured into the yard and Mazie got the drop on them. Cornered, one of them bolted around Mazie and I and made it out through the chain-link fence. The other one wasn't so lucky and Mazie chomped down on its back.

I always wanted to play with the bunnies in the backyard. They never really wanted to play with me, but we at least tolerated each other. Then Mazie came along.

Kevin and Abby weren't so keen on Mazie getting second supper, so they pried her off the wounded little rabbit, which at this point was paralyzed from the middle down and screeching. They forced Mazie and I back inside and the little rabbit tried to follow its partner through the chain-link, but to no avail.

When Kevin went to put the rabbit out of its misery it was already dead.

So no rabbit supper tonight, but that's OK. I prefer larger meals (my food is made from bison), and I'm not sure I could eat a potential playmate anyway.

Though now that I've seen what Mazie can do, I'm starting to watch my back.

Posted by Speak at 10:28 PM | TrackBack

May 21, 2006

A Tale of Two Dogs

(Filed under: Modeling)

I made another greenback-generating appearance in the Target ad this week. No matter what the pink sweater vest says about me, I'm still a productive member of society.

Mazie, on the other hand, found half a squirrel to chew the other day. Nobody's quite sure what happened to the other half of the squirrel, but everybody's pretty certain Mazie didn't do it. She eats fast, but not that fast. And that would make her a what?

A scavenger.

She also spent yesterday trying to catch two big, fat pigeons. Now I've heard pigeon can be a delicacy, but c'mon. You actually have to catch them. Finding previously killed lunch doesn't count.

So go ahead, laugh at my cross-dressing, money-making fame. But while I'm sitting on a luxurious pillow and lapping bottled water Mazie is sitting in the dirt chewing on leftover squirrel intestines. Now who do you want sitting in your lap?

Posted by Speak at 8:59 AM | TrackBack

May 1, 2006

Speak the Dog Modeling Fairy

(Filed under: Modeling)

So Speak is pretty proud of himself for being paid to dress up like a girl. I'm not sure I get it. I tried the whole modeling thing. They were really nice to me and gave me lots of tasty food, but I don't think that's for me. I'd rather chase animals in the back yard.

OK, yesterday, there was this big fat rabbit sitting by the garage and I ran out to get him and he didn't see me coming so he didn't run until it was too late and I was on top of him before he could escape and I think I scared him really bad and I might have got a bit of fur but I don't remember because it happened so fast.

Mmm... rabbit.

So anyway, Speak is a model.

Yeah, but what he didn't tell you is last year he got to model some Halloween costumes. Like this fairy costume. But he also got to be a tiger. All summer I had to hear about how he got to be a tiger. Then when the costumes came out he didn't tell anybody else.

You know why? Because he looked like a fairy in that tiger costume. I think the "tiger" costume was more like a tiger skin coat.

Very lady-like yet again, Speak.

This year he went back to do more Halloween costume modeling and he came back bragging that he got to be a football player. And a pumpkin (he wasn't as thrilled with that one). I can't wait to see what kind of a powderpuff football player he gets to be.

And maybe it's just me, but I think I look a lot more lady-like in the fairy costume than Speak did. Of course it's hard to chase rabbits in all that get up, so it was just for Halloween.