October 27, 2003
This leash demeans us both.
(Filed under: Dog News)I'm not so sure about this new product I saw in the paper this morning, the Bow Lingual. It translates dog barks into human English. When I say "arf," it says something inane like "I'm above you." Think Uncle Herb's baby translator on The Simpsons.
Some smart professor guy compared it to George Bush giving a press conference. I'm not sure what that means, but I think I agree.
Posted by Speak at 8:03 AM | Comments (3)
October 20, 2003
Help, Help I'm Bein' Oppressed
(Filed under: Grooming)Tonight they came at me with scissors and threw me in the bathtub. While photographic proof would be great for the prosecution, my self-esteem could do without.
Posted by Speak at 9:02 PM | Comments (2)
October 18, 2003
Army of One
(Filed under: Random)My house is being invaded so I have decided I need to step up and protect the place. I have spent the day patrolling the front porch, the back deck and the living room for ladybugs. There are tons of them in here and I am starting to think I might need some back up for this situation. I can only eat so many.
Bottle Caps Anonymous
(Filed under: Toys)Hi, my name is Speak, and I have a problem.
I'm addicted to bottle caps. It started off innocently enough, with just one cap to play with but now it has turned into an obssesion. I chase them, I chew on them, I haul them outside and try to bury them, I leave them on the stairs for people to step on. There are bottle caps everywhere in my house. And people are constantly adding more to my collection. I'm trying to cut back, but it's hard.
Posted by Speak at 9:29 AM | Comments (1)
October 17, 2003
Dirty monkey?
(Filed under: Random)Kevin just called me a dirty monkey. I'm not sure what to make of this, though at the time I was chewing on five socks and a monkey slipper from the bedroom.
October 14, 2003
I love you.
(Filed under: Pictures)
For those of you wondering where my name came from, this is my namesake, Speak. He's from a cartoon called The Tick. Speak is the Tick's dog, though Speak is actually a capiberra, the world's largest rodent. He earned the name Speak after talking to the Tick in an impressive English accent. Of course the Tick had just sustained quite a blow to the head.
Sadly, I don't have an English accent.
October 13, 2003
Insult to Injury
(Filed under: The Vet)
Could somebody tell me what happened to my head?
Oh, there it is.
You know, this is getting a bit ridiculous. First they slice me open and do unspeakable things. Then they stick a lampshade on my head. Then they duct tape some contraption to my head -- and let me tell you, manilla and vanilla may sound alike, but they don't taste it -- and now they found an even bigger cone to stick on my head. I didn't think it was possible, but this just keeps getting worse.
How 'bout a pity comment?
Posted by Speak at 3:54 PM | Comments (1)
October 12, 2003
Don't take a picture, it's been a bad day.
(Filed under: The Vet)Could someone please tell me what I did to deserve this? It's as if yesterday's mockery wasn't enough.
October 11, 2003
Why am I wearing a lampshade on my head?
(Filed under: The Vet)
Everything but the beak and feet.
(Filed under: Toys)
This is one of my favorite toys. If I were you, I'd consider getting one.
October 10, 2003
They said I was going to get tutored.
(Filed under: The Vet)Today I went to the vet. Let's just say that after Lance called me "man," he corrected himself and called me "buddy."