Word Count Day 10

28,063/50,000

Chapter 8 (continued more)

The sandy stretch of shore kept getting narrower and narrower. Up ahead the beach disappeared entirely. A paved biking path continued along the river flats, though up ahead the gorge walls came right up to the river and the path turned into a cantilevered bridge over the water for at least the length of a football field.

Sedgewick would need to turn back now or else risk being late for class. He hesitated, pawing the dirt with his toe, then turned back the way he came with some reluctance.

He left the sandy edge behind, the lapping water and climbed the embankment. He crossed the grassy flats and ascended the steep flight of stairs that snaked their way up the gorge walls.

When he slid into his usual seat in class he was there a minute or two earlier than usual. A few other people were there, but the room was mostly empty and quiet. Sedgewick would rather be early and sit quietly by himself than come in late. He pulled out his notes and a pen and in a few minutes the professor and the rest of the class came and things got underway.

It was a low-level cultural studies class Sedgewick has signed up for as a way of avoiding foreign language classes. He had enough trouble mastering English and didn't want to tackle another language. Besides, the idea of studying other cultures and customs piqued his curiosity. The American culture he lived in was odd enough, and seeing how other people lived across the world and throughout time confirmed to Sedgewick that he didn't need to do everything exactly the way everyone else did.

The professor began lecturing, making notes on the board and Sedgewick dutifully copied them down. But his mind kept wavering, kept straying from the confines of the windowless, nondescript classroom.

He still had girls on his mind. Allison specifically, but his meager attempts at relationships generally. At this moment he was surrounded by college girls, but the allure wasn't quite there. The girl sitting in front of him had a soft face and a cute smile. Today she wore gray pants with cargo pockets and the cuffs rolled up to reveal bare, slightly tanned ankles and no socks.

Sedgewick had worked with her on a group project before and occasionally they'd talk before class or when the professor asked them to discuss something in groups. Her name was Julie, though Sedgewick had heard her friends call her Jules. She was nice, rather thoughtful and pretty, though she didn't stir up any feelings inside Sedgewick the way some girls did. Definitely not the way Allison seemed to. He didn't understand why this was, why his brain or his heart seemed to have some attachment, some attraction to certain girls. That feeling was deeper depending on the girl, but sometimes it just wasn't there. It reflected nothing about Julie—it all seemed to be in Sedgewick's head.

He shook his head slowly and tried to focus on the lecture again, scribbling to bring his note taking up to speed.

In high school there had been a girl who got Sedgewick's attention. She was as tall as Sedgewick and solidly built, but quiet and shy. She had an amazing smile, when she showed it. She had an awkwardness about her, she didn't quite fit the social circles of high school—not that Sedgewick ever did either. Yet she still managed to befriend some of those social circlers, walking down the hall with a cheerleader one day, a combination that made you do a double take.

It was her smile that got Sedgewick's attention. In the course of a school day it didn't make an appearance very often, but when it did it was worth the wait. He had spent weeks watching her from afar, just wondering who she was and what make her tick. He never had any classes with her, but he'd see her in the library every so often and it gave him the opportunity he needed.

One day he'd been sitting at the computer, finishing a homework assignment when she came up with a friend of hers and sat down at the computer next to him. She had said hello—not the casual hi of high school, but hello—and smiled.

Sedgewick smiled back. He could feel his heart hammering and he bit his lip.

"I'm Sedgewick," he said, sounding as self-assured and confident as anyone, but not exactly feeling the part.

"Beth," she said. Sedgewick half expected to shake hands, but that would have been entirely too awkward. Their initial meeting didn't go much farther than that, though Sedgewick could feel the leering eyes of Beth's friend, and he somehow knew that this encounter would be recounted in private. He never knew if that was a good thing or not, but it always made him feel uneasy.

It was maybe a few days or weeks later and Sedgewick heard about a local pop-punk band that was playing that night at a local club. The guitarist's girlfriend had been passing out flyers in class. She was your typical pop-punk band girl friend, with bleached blonde hair cut close like a boys. She wore leather bracelets on her skinny wrists and actually fit the part of a pop-punk groupie better than her boyfriend fit the role of rock star, so Sedgewick thought after the show.

She gave a flyer to Sedgewick and he asked what they sounded like. He had a vague idea what pop-punk music was, not that he was entirely interested, but the idea of a local band of high schoolers sounded unique. She rattled off a few famous flash-in-the-pan punk bands that Sedgewick had never heard of, and he nodded like he knew each one.

He wanted to go to the show, and he imagined his grandmother would let him borrow the car for such an event. Though at the same time he really didn't want to go alone. Sedgewick never minded being alone, but some social functions went better with someone else.

Later that day she walked by and Sedgewick decided he'd ask. He could take her to the show and not be alone, two birds with one stone. He could actually have a chance to talk to her.

When he approached her, heart hammering and lip bit, he didn't realize the ramifications of what he was asking. It was a genuine and certifiable date. He just wanted to see a concert, but that's not how it worked. She smiled and looked suddenly more nervous than Sedgewick. Beth said yes.

The date would later be described as a complete and total disaster and never be spoken of again. But that wasn't exactly the reality. It had been quiet, yes, and slightly awkward, as most outings with a teenage boy and girl usually are. Sedgewick picked her up and drove across town, trying to remember the directions in his head. He didn't drive often, and had a hard time concentrating on keeping any sense of conversation going. He asked her the same question twice.

But she didn't help matters any, hardly talking at all and seeming to be too giddy and happy and joyous to do anything other than smile. Sedgewick liked her smile, but seeing it for so long kind of freaked him out. He wished she'd stop smiling, if only for a moment or two.

Sedgewick and Beth entered the local club, a hole in the wall called Fred's House of Rock, walking side by side. Sedgewick buried his hands in his pockets. He paid the cover charge at the door, fumbling with bills and thankful for the few dollars he had. He'd completely forgotten about the cover charge and almost didn't have enough.

Fred's House of Rock seemed to be an old restaurant converted into a club. A makeshift bar served drinks in the corner, but it was really just cans of pop and bottles of water. The stage was set in the opposite corner, the band raised on a platform, and the room never completely opened to give a good view of the stage. In one direction there was only 20 feet of standing room in front of the stage before a dividing wall obscured the view. The building stretched in the other direction, making for an awkward concert experience. The sound was terrible.

The band was just starting when Beth and Sedgewick entered, the music echoing off the walls and sounding louder than it was. Sedgewick committed his first of many social faux paus when he made for the bleachers in the back rather than joining the throng of misfit teenagers standing near the stage. Beth sat next to him, a little closer than necessary and they didn’t move for the entire 45-minute set.

Rash Dangerously, the burgeoning pop-punk band comprised of high schoolers who could barely play their instruments, thrashed around on stage, creating more noise than art. Sedgewick could see the guitarist's girlfriend, the one who had given him the flyer, rocking out in the front corner, putting more energy and enthusiasm into her slam dancing than was really necessary. The music wasn't half bad. It was louder than Sedgewick would have liked, which made it hard to hear and appreciate, especially in the tiny club. Some of the songs had promise, a few lyrics were actually quite witty, and one or two songs Sedgewick wanted to hear again.

He would lean over and whisper something to Beth, usually having to repeat it a second or third time, trying to have some sense of conversation going. She never responded with more than a nod, and if it wasn't for her intense smile Sedgewick would have thought she was having a terrible time. The fact was she'd never been on a date before and could hardly believe someone had asked her. She was so shell-shocked at the idea she wasn't herself. If they'd have tried it again it might have gone better, but the outlook wasn't looking good.

As Sedgewick looked back on it, completely oblivious to the professor and the tribes of southeastern Indonesia, much of that night was a complete blur. He didn't remember the ride home, which at that point must have been awkward to the point of physical pain. He didn't remember how long they stayed at the club, but he seemed to remember leaving right after Rash Dangerously finished their set with the lead singer throwing himself into the meager crowd. If that was true, it would have made for the shortest date in dating history, probably a grand total of an hour and a half.

Sedgewick didn’t realize what had happened until it was already over. He just wanted to watch a rock band, maybe get to know a girl from school. He wasn't looking for a dating experience.

The memory still caused him physical pain, and he glanced at his watch hoping class was nearly over. A few minutes later the professor wrapped things up and Sedgewick bent to gather his things.

"Did you get that part about shaman's role in the tribe?" Julie asked him, twisting in her seat and still holding her notebook in her hands.

"You know, I must have missed it." Sedgewick had half a page of notes, and he could tell Julie had written for several pages.

"Are you a little out of it today?"

"Yeah, my mind is somewhere else." She nodded and said she understood, then turned to someone else to fill in the gaps in her notes. Sedgewick left his notes full of more gap than notes, and left the classroom.